Do What You Love; Will the money follow?

It may be a paradox... doing what you love allows you to do things you "think" you do not love, like doing the dishes...
Being present or living in the field of Now, eliminates stress, therefore any "doing" in the Now is "loving what is."

In a sense, you find that whatever you do, you love. But there seems to be a "pace" involved, that any pressure coming from the outside to "perform" according to societal expectations can no longer be maintained.

In a way, I consciously dropped doing the things that are "expected" of me by family, friends, society. Within my small 'sphere of influence' it was expected that I financially contribute to my family. Even when I was doing that in a very small way, in relative terms, all my other "functions" suffered (ie: mothering and art making, observing, etc.) Society does not honor these functions as valid functions for its members. "If you are not bringing home any bacon, you do not deserve to do what you love." Personally, it has not been possible for me to sell my art (as a means of support) for numerous reasons: I do not play the artworld game, I don't 'believe' in judging art according to subjective "standards" (?), I don't 'believe' in "marketing" art as the artworld requires, I don't 'believe' that only wealthy people can own art, etc. I, actually would give my artplay for free (and often do) were it not for the money system; we are "required" to use money for food, etc.

There cannot be a hierarchy for outer purposes in the New Earth. Anyway, these 'things' will work itself out. For now, in this bridge-world we live On, we have to leap off the cliff into the ocean of Love.
"When you love, and let love do what it will, there is right action, because love never seeks success, it is never caught up in imitation; but if you give your life to something which you don't love, you will never be free." (Krishnamurti)

This is truth. I have "thought" of this in a slightly different way. The way of society is completely "wrong" with regards to livelihood. It is not based on allowing or honoring what people love to do. Often I envision what a "society" of New Earthians would look like: everyone does what they love to do and everyone is equal because there is no longer ownership, money, etc. It functions beautifully without the ego.


What I could not fathom in my mind and my heart, for the past few years, was "how could the father of the 2 beautiful children (ALL CHILDREN ARE BEAUTIFUL), which I channeled from and through the Universe of Love, hate me so much?"

This was the illusion in my life situation. The illusion, finally, "dropped me." Hate is an unconscious belief; only Love is real, it has no opposite.


Living with Sleepers

I have reached out to the world with all of my being. I do this with each Now moment. I offer my "art" at greatly reduced prices compared with the "norm" for art objects. I am offering insights and spilling forth Love of Life. I need nothing in return, but my kids do. What more can I do in my day that will keep them living under this roof?

That thought, at times, "weighs me down." Is it the last remnants of ego? Is saying I have a few "last remnants of ego" ego? How to get out from under it? This is just a thought. There "must" be a way to be here, with basic things for living. Again, a thought about it. I no longer need to acquire more "things" except food. Warmth in the winter. Occasionally, hot water for a shower. I would love to take a hot bath, but that is a luxury. How to pay for us to be able to live together in the home that they are comfortable with? It is not a big house, it could use some "fixing up", a few appliances could be replaced, some things need repair. Do I need to lose the garden? I know there are other gardens.

Is it the 'letting go' of thoughts that changes everything? I hear from another(s) who tells me that my "life" is wrong. I know that that is someone "else's" thought about it.
That thought is miles away from the Truth. Many people have thoughts that are miles away from their very "own lives". I say "own lives" because in Truth, We are One Life.

Sounds pretty, or nice. It takes great loss to See it. And if the "loss" continues it no longer appears "as loss." But as the Great Opening that It Is.


Garden of Love

I am repeating this posting I put on my blog, Creation of the Creativity, today. I will add, here, another dimension to this encounter with the Dragonfly.

Whether you "believe" me or not... I, literally, spent 2 hours yesterday with this dragonfly. She/He did not fly away. A few times danced around me, then went right back to the raspberry cane. We stared into each other's eyes... We nodded our heads at each other. I spoke a few words, here and there. I thought later: the "time" that had passed was one hour, but in truth it was 2!

I was mesmerized that the Dragonfly was hanging out with me for so long. I had the thought that this seemed truly intentional on both of our parts. A few more feelings arose for me:
The dragonflies are evolving, too.
Once one goes through one's own evolutionary process one is able to truly tune in to nature.

I, obviously, did not feel compelled to do other things or to lose patience.
The Dragonfly did not seem to be compelled to attend to its regular routine? (which is never routine in our sense of the word, it is always in the Field of Now)

At one point, a kind of sadness overcame me, and I had this feeling:
We All have to Love each other Now!
Look at how magnificent this creature is, we are!! We have to See this Now!

This, for me, is the True sense of "getting back to the Garden." The Garden, the Paradise is Here Now! Look around You!! Look Inside You!!
The sense of the whole encounter was Truly phenomenal... can You See that?
Toward the end of our "time" together, I was thinking... "It is not flying away, when will this end? I cannot easily leave, but at some point today, I will have to go in the house." ( it is approx. 4:30) I glanced down at a Red Clover below the Dragonfly, and saw that there is a 4-leaf clover! I investigated closer, indeed!! A four-leaf clover, but wait, there are two 4-leaf clovers here!!!!
I looked up to look at the Dragonfly but it was gone! So! Now is when it ends. I wonder where it goes? As I gathered my things to go inside, and 'am standing at the place where we met, I see that it is there perched a little higher atop another plant, waiting. And as I leave, it flies off, even higher, to a broader leaf; peeking its head over the edge, as if to say: "Farewell!"


Dragonflies are the Fairies

I spent 2 hours communing with this guy today!
some days one does not want to write a "proper" sentence
Is that why poetry was "invented"?

often it is easier to understand what the poet points toward
when we talk about the "formless" dimension. "Formless" is a word Eckhart Tolle uses.

Unconditioned Intelligence (We All have It)

We take for granted the way things are in our heads... the way society functions, the way we relate to one another; all the ways we "live." The rules we follow, internal and external... when and what we eat, how often, when we should sleep, how long, how many hours we shall work or not work, what we shall do for work, how we play, etc., etc., etc. Habits. What is valued and what is not. Conformity. Norms, what is normal?

(the madness of the ego is/has been "normal")


I think I am the only one here, I know I am not alone.

There is an endless supply of Love bubbling up from Our eternal spring.
Love is freely given. Because the spring from which it comes forth, bubbles up endlessly.
Love is given away, freely
Because the endless source resides in Our Heart. Love can never leave You.


Once you realize the essential truth of Life there is no longer a need to be right or to prove that you know this.

Others' thoughts about you never come close to the reality of You.


Collector of Synchronicites

I have saved the ephemera of my life. And in doing so, I have discovered that buried there in the piles are treasures of "retro" synchronicities.

Recently, I was beginning to organize my collection of letters that I have received my entire life, pre-email era. (I have actually thrown out several that my mother sent me, because at the time I thought they were mundane.) In the bag of letters I found a newpaper I had saved from Athens, Greece dated September 29, 1981. It is fairly interesting to read what was happening in Greece then and on the world stage.

So, in this little tourist paper, Athens Daily Post, there is an article or column called: An American in Athens, a collection of "Quick Shots" of famous people in the vicinity. The first line reads: "Bo and John Derek tried their best to keep a low profile while in Greece,..." I read, perhaps for the first time, the entire column just the other night. I certainly do not remember if I read it in 1981; most things I kept were for unknown reasons, perhaps for some future art project, or to read at a later date. Something tangible to show that I have existed elsewhere. I would have read newspapers back then and not been interested in the content. In a sense, I was forcing myself to read the news, in order to become "informed" but it never worked for me.

I have never heard any of the names in this article except the first two. So, I read down to the very last paragraph:

A two part, five hour "wallow" in ancient Greeks is a stage hit in Williamstown, Massachusetts. Titled "The Greeks," it is an adaptation of the Trojan War and the tragic repercussions for the House of Atreus. Originally staged in London in three parts by the Royal Shakespeare Company, it is based on seven plays of Euripides.

The reasons this is a sync:

1. My hometown is Williamstown

2. Why is the Artistic Director, Nikos Psacharopoulos, not mentioned?
He was born in Athens, now [1981] living in America!
(He died on January 12, 1989 after surgery for colon cancer; he became Artistic Director of Williamstown Theatre Festival in 1956; immigrated to US in 1947; born on January 18, 1928)

Completely Open Vessel

Where do thoughts come from?
I was standing in the shower, earlier today, and the thought came to me that if I had been burned as a witch in Lucerne in the days of witch burning, then I needed this lifetime to clear that matter up. To, in a sense, forgive those in this lifetime who have not understood me, or have gotten caught up in their own "self" to not be aware of their callous actions.

(the Truth within this "thought" is valid, regardless of the "unknown" aspects of it)

I have in this lifetime travelled to Lucerne and know people who lived there, at that time. At the time I was there, I would not be aware of this thought, at all. But I was in emotional turmoil while there; "Down and Out in London and Paris", so to speak.

Anyway, now, I'm reflecting too much on this thought that just "popped up" in the shower. The other part was that in conjunction to the thought about witch burning, the thought arose about the "conversation" I've been having with Marite... but alas, now, I have forgotten the seemingly complex stream of thinking that took no effort, at all, to arise. The thoughts just come. And go.

But, later this day, as I was sitting in my green garden (what many would call "weeds") I had what seems like a completely random thought. The thought was this: I saw a place near a drive-in movie theatre that I used to go to as a child or very young teenager. It was near a lime or chalk factory. Just out of the blue, no thoughts leading up to it.

Vessels of Love

We are all vessels of love. If you listen to your thoughts about it you won't believe me. For many, the love is covered over with just thoughts, words, concepts, an ego... a belief. Our experience comes from nowhere and our thoughts about it tell us to doubt our experiences; to make even the experiences become concepts, nullified and void of Life. **

You sense life through your heart, but the mind has wanted to take over. It believes that the heart is foolish, needs more evidence, cannot be trusted. We, actually, do not know where this "heart", I speak of, is located... it is not a thing (I can know this, but I cannot convince you to know it).

This is not essential for knowing. Knowing is not coming from thoughts. You cannot define knowing; the word "knowing" is not adequate to show you what I am talking about, because I'm not able to talk about it.

**Especially, when we judge another human being. We judge another human being as if they had a choice in choosing their experiences. As if they had a choice to be born (one could argue that the soul chooses, which may be true, but it would appear that most humans have had a forgetting, at birth?) This too is mental speculation. Not important. We cannot live each others lives, which we attempt to do with each judgment. We cannot know another experience, ever... but we can sense our own and in this feel the connection to others, as we all experience Life. Whether, conscious or unconscious of this fact.


Open Life

When I was a child, teenager, and younger woman I had a sense that I knew something different than other people, but I never had a satisfactory exchange with another regarding this. (Well, perhaps, that is not completely accurate, I did have brief moments of joy, but they were covered over mostly with thoughts.) It was difficult for this something to come into expression, especially working with the unconscious level that most of us were familiar with.

Mostly, my thoughts and others told me: "I had to be better", "I was not smart enough", "I was not clever enough", "I was not good at debating about politics", "I was not well read", "I was too young to have feelings", "This is the way life is, you have to accept it!"

In that "lifetime", I do not think I could hear anything different than what my thoughts fed to me. If someone liked me, well I didn't like them or I could not believe that they did. Or I had to prove to someone that they must like me, because I liked them so much for not really liking me, in some twisted convoluted mind game we all played.

Now, to see the shift in my own perception is something one cannot imagine. It resided in my heart for "years" and is, at last, free to come into the Fullness of Life.


from Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle, pg 78-79

"When walking or resting in nature, honor that realm by being there fully. Be still. Look. Listen. See how every animal and every plant is completely itself. Unlike humans, they have not split themselves in two. They do not live through mental images of themselves, so they do not need to be concerned with trying to protect and enhance those images. The deer is itself. The daffodil is itself.

All things in nature are not only one with themselves but also one with the totality. They haven't removed themselves from the fabric of the whole by claiming a separate existence: "me" and the rest of the universe.

The contemplation of nature can free you of that "me," the great troublemaker."

Completely Open Vessel

What people say about their situation and the reality of that situation are two different things
---completely different things.

I still carry illusions of my future that never comes. These illusions are not based in reality, they are imaginations or dreams, mind-made objects.

We can't know one iota about a future because we never experience it. This can be understood with our minds. I no longer reconstruct the past. If I talk about the past, I am experiencing it through my memories that are created in the Now. Yes the past is only a memory.

We know, only, the Now and in that same Now moment we know nothing of it.

EVERYTHING arises out of the field of Now... it has to!
For some, ideas or "things" get stuck in the recycling, repetitive thinking mind; for others, there is a peaceful scenery in which we exist. Only a shift in perception is the difference.

I have never claimed to know more than or anything, at all, in comparison to another person.
We can agree that each human being has a different perception. When we share our perceptions with one another, we sometimes describe through words a feeling about the essential nature, the True Nature of Nature, that is the same in each human being. Herein lies the true equality of human beings, something we never asked for, something we are born with and something that remains when we die. Our personas, I as Doreen, dies. I think it is a known fact that our forms shall die. Can we debate that? Once we know that without the formless dimension we could not exist, then I can, unequivocably, state that there is a formless dimension. All labels, words, definitions are forms. Yes, we shall NEVER KNOW the formless, how could we? it has no form. We use forms to refer to it. But, we can know that it is here. Not something that I can convince anyone of, with words.


"I know, I know, I'm on it! I'm "doing the job" I came for! Just like You and You and You; Everyone!"



What if I am to leave my beloved birches in the backyard?
I have left trees before, some have left me
They still stand, with or without me
Or transform in the fire
I have always been diligent and competent.
Is not everyone capable of being a human?


It is not that important that the mindsets of "others" change. What is most important is that one's own changes. EVERYONE has the potential for waking up. But no one else can effect one's "own" state of consciousness. This is Key to understanding.

For example, in discussions we get "enlightened ideas" but through "habits" we go back to the old ideas over and over again. And without knowing it, we go back to original beliefs. If one "thinks" it is OK for oneself to change but that others cannot, then one hinders one's own change. I hear people label and define other people as if they have a choice as to the state of their consciousness. They do not. All people are born into a situation; are born with collective conditioning... these are not things one "escapes" through thoughts or the "mind". (My sense is that some children being born now, will not have a heavy, conditioned mind)

There is a subtle shift that happens, where everyone is viewed equally in this awakening process. The time line is not important. The external world and the way it "functions" becomes less and less important. Because, one no longer is "at the mercy" of others. Today, for example, the car I and my daughter drive has a problem with the brakes. 3 times yesterday they did not make contact to the drums or rotors(?) so the control of the car was lost, and luckily the car stopped "in time", all 3 times. The car needs repair, no doubt! But when the subject was brought up to the husband, the immediate reaction was "I don't have the money." This is a habitual habit that is not changing because I change; but I realize that he cannot control this. But, now, I have the capacity to find a different solution. For "one of" the first times, I again, realize that he literally cannot hear me.

New Awareness, also, takes some getting used to. Like, Eckhart Tolle, he spent many years before he could talk about what had happened to him. For example, I hear Ellen Langer, what she says is valid. I have not read her book, Counter Clockwise: Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility, but what comes up is this question: How long did these changes in people last? Is it possible that after some time they revert back to their "old" way of thinking? Without one's Own awareness of how repetitive thought is dysfunctional, these changes may not last. But, "once awakened", as a society, living within the field of Now, the children function, also, in this way of Now.