Once you realize the essential truth of Life there is no longer a need to be right or to prove that you know this.
Others' thoughts about you never come close to the reality of You.
7/13/09
7/12/09
Collector of Synchronicites
I have saved the ephemera of my life. And in doing so, I have discovered that buried there in the piles are treasures of "retro" synchronicities.
Recently, I was beginning to organize my collection of letters that I have received my entire life, pre-email era. (I have actually thrown out several that my mother sent me, because at the time I thought they were mundane.) In the bag of letters I found a newpaper I had saved from Athens, Greece dated September 29, 1981. It is fairly interesting to read what was happening in Greece then and on the world stage.
So, in this little tourist paper, Athens Daily Post, there is an article or column called: An American in Athens, a collection of "Quick Shots" of famous people in the vicinity. The first line reads: "Bo and John Derek tried their best to keep a low profile while in Greece,..." I read, perhaps for the first time, the entire column just the other night. I certainly do not remember if I read it in 1981; most things I kept were for unknown reasons, perhaps for some future art project, or to read at a later date. Something tangible to show that I have existed elsewhere. I would have read newspapers back then and not been interested in the content. In a sense, I was forcing myself to read the news, in order to become "informed" but it never worked for me.
I have never heard any of the names in this article except the first two. So, I read down to the very last paragraph:
A two part, five hour "wallow" in ancient Greeks is a stage hit in Williamstown, Massachusetts. Titled "The Greeks," it is an adaptation of the Trojan War and the tragic repercussions for the House of Atreus. Originally staged in London in three parts by the Royal Shakespeare Company, it is based on seven plays of Euripides.
The reasons this is a sync:
1. My hometown is Williamstown
2. Why is the Artistic Director, Nikos Psacharopoulos, not mentioned?
He was born in Athens, now [1981] living in America!
(He died on January 12, 1989 after surgery for colon cancer; he became Artistic Director of Williamstown Theatre Festival in 1956; immigrated to US in 1947; born on January 18, 1928)
Recently, I was beginning to organize my collection of letters that I have received my entire life, pre-email era. (I have actually thrown out several that my mother sent me, because at the time I thought they were mundane.) In the bag of letters I found a newpaper I had saved from Athens, Greece dated September 29, 1981. It is fairly interesting to read what was happening in Greece then and on the world stage.
So, in this little tourist paper, Athens Daily Post, there is an article or column called: An American in Athens, a collection of "Quick Shots" of famous people in the vicinity. The first line reads: "Bo and John Derek tried their best to keep a low profile while in Greece,..." I read, perhaps for the first time, the entire column just the other night. I certainly do not remember if I read it in 1981; most things I kept were for unknown reasons, perhaps for some future art project, or to read at a later date. Something tangible to show that I have existed elsewhere. I would have read newspapers back then and not been interested in the content. In a sense, I was forcing myself to read the news, in order to become "informed" but it never worked for me.
I have never heard any of the names in this article except the first two. So, I read down to the very last paragraph:
A two part, five hour "wallow" in ancient Greeks is a stage hit in Williamstown, Massachusetts. Titled "The Greeks," it is an adaptation of the Trojan War and the tragic repercussions for the House of Atreus. Originally staged in London in three parts by the Royal Shakespeare Company, it is based on seven plays of Euripides.
The reasons this is a sync:
1. My hometown is Williamstown
2. Why is the Artistic Director, Nikos Psacharopoulos, not mentioned?
He was born in Athens, now [1981] living in America!
(He died on January 12, 1989 after surgery for colon cancer; he became Artistic Director of Williamstown Theatre Festival in 1956; immigrated to US in 1947; born on January 18, 1928)
Completely Open Vessel
Where do thoughts come from?
I was standing in the shower, earlier today, and the thought came to me that if I had been burned as a witch in Lucerne in the days of witch burning, then I needed this lifetime to clear that matter up. To, in a sense, forgive those in this lifetime who have not understood me, or have gotten caught up in their own "self" to not be aware of their callous actions.
(the Truth within this "thought" is valid, regardless of the "unknown" aspects of it)
I have in this lifetime travelled to Lucerne and know people who lived there, at that time. At the time I was there, I would not be aware of this thought, at all. But I was in emotional turmoil while there; "Down and Out in London and Paris", so to speak.
Anyway, now, I'm reflecting too much on this thought that just "popped up" in the shower. The other part was that in conjunction to the thought about witch burning, the thought arose about the "conversation" I've been having with Marite... but alas, now, I have forgotten the seemingly complex stream of thinking that took no effort, at all, to arise. The thoughts just come. And go.
But, later this day, as I was sitting in my green garden (what many would call "weeds") I had what seems like a completely random thought. The thought was this: I saw a place near a drive-in movie theatre that I used to go to as a child or very young teenager. It was near a lime or chalk factory. Just out of the blue, no thoughts leading up to it.
I was standing in the shower, earlier today, and the thought came to me that if I had been burned as a witch in Lucerne in the days of witch burning, then I needed this lifetime to clear that matter up. To, in a sense, forgive those in this lifetime who have not understood me, or have gotten caught up in their own "self" to not be aware of their callous actions.
(the Truth within this "thought" is valid, regardless of the "unknown" aspects of it)
I have in this lifetime travelled to Lucerne and know people who lived there, at that time. At the time I was there, I would not be aware of this thought, at all. But I was in emotional turmoil while there; "Down and Out in London and Paris", so to speak.
Anyway, now, I'm reflecting too much on this thought that just "popped up" in the shower. The other part was that in conjunction to the thought about witch burning, the thought arose about the "conversation" I've been having with Marite... but alas, now, I have forgotten the seemingly complex stream of thinking that took no effort, at all, to arise. The thoughts just come. And go.
But, later this day, as I was sitting in my green garden (what many would call "weeds") I had what seems like a completely random thought. The thought was this: I saw a place near a drive-in movie theatre that I used to go to as a child or very young teenager. It was near a lime or chalk factory. Just out of the blue, no thoughts leading up to it.
Vessels of Love
We are all vessels of love. If you listen to your thoughts about it you won't believe me. For many, the love is covered over with just thoughts, words, concepts, an ego... a belief. Our experience comes from nowhere and our thoughts about it tell us to doubt our experiences; to make even the experiences become concepts, nullified and void of Life. **
You sense life through your heart, but the mind has wanted to take over. It believes that the heart is foolish, needs more evidence, cannot be trusted. We, actually, do not know where this "heart", I speak of, is located... it is not a thing (I can know this, but I cannot convince you to know it).
This is not essential for knowing. Knowing is not coming from thoughts. You cannot define knowing; the word "knowing" is not adequate to show you what I am talking about, because I'm not able to talk about it.
**Especially, when we judge another human being. We judge another human being as if they had a choice in choosing their experiences. As if they had a choice to be born (one could argue that the soul chooses, which may be true, but it would appear that most humans have had a forgetting, at birth?) This too is mental speculation. Not important. We cannot live each others lives, which we attempt to do with each judgment. We cannot know another experience, ever... but we can sense our own and in this feel the connection to others, as we all experience Life. Whether, conscious or unconscious of this fact.
You sense life through your heart, but the mind has wanted to take over. It believes that the heart is foolish, needs more evidence, cannot be trusted. We, actually, do not know where this "heart", I speak of, is located... it is not a thing (I can know this, but I cannot convince you to know it).
This is not essential for knowing. Knowing is not coming from thoughts. You cannot define knowing; the word "knowing" is not adequate to show you what I am talking about, because I'm not able to talk about it.
**Especially, when we judge another human being. We judge another human being as if they had a choice in choosing their experiences. As if they had a choice to be born (one could argue that the soul chooses, which may be true, but it would appear that most humans have had a forgetting, at birth?) This too is mental speculation. Not important. We cannot live each others lives, which we attempt to do with each judgment. We cannot know another experience, ever... but we can sense our own and in this feel the connection to others, as we all experience Life. Whether, conscious or unconscious of this fact.
7/11/09
Open Life
When I was a child, teenager, and younger woman I had a sense that I knew something different than other people, but I never had a satisfactory exchange with another regarding this. (Well, perhaps, that is not completely accurate, I did have brief moments of joy, but they were covered over mostly with thoughts.) It was difficult for this something to come into expression, especially working with the unconscious level that most of us were familiar with.
Mostly, my thoughts and others told me: "I had to be better", "I was not smart enough", "I was not clever enough", "I was not good at debating about politics", "I was not well read", "I was too young to have feelings", "This is the way life is, you have to accept it!"
In that "lifetime", I do not think I could hear anything different than what my thoughts fed to me. If someone liked me, well I didn't like them or I could not believe that they did. Or I had to prove to someone that they must like me, because I liked them so much for not really liking me, in some twisted convoluted mind game we all played.
Now, to see the shift in my own perception is something one cannot imagine. It resided in my heart for "years" and is, at last, free to come into the Fullness of Life.
Mostly, my thoughts and others told me: "I had to be better", "I was not smart enough", "I was not clever enough", "I was not good at debating about politics", "I was not well read", "I was too young to have feelings", "This is the way life is, you have to accept it!"
In that "lifetime", I do not think I could hear anything different than what my thoughts fed to me. If someone liked me, well I didn't like them or I could not believe that they did. Or I had to prove to someone that they must like me, because I liked them so much for not really liking me, in some twisted convoluted mind game we all played.
Now, to see the shift in my own perception is something one cannot imagine. It resided in my heart for "years" and is, at last, free to come into the Fullness of Life.
7/10/09
from Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle, pg 78-79
"When walking or resting in nature, honor that realm by being there fully. Be still. Look. Listen. See how every animal and every plant is completely itself. Unlike humans, they have not split themselves in two. They do not live through mental images of themselves, so they do not need to be concerned with trying to protect and enhance those images. The deer is itself. The daffodil is itself.
All things in nature are not only one with themselves but also one with the totality. They haven't removed themselves from the fabric of the whole by claiming a separate existence: "me" and the rest of the universe.
The contemplation of nature can free you of that "me," the great troublemaker."
All things in nature are not only one with themselves but also one with the totality. They haven't removed themselves from the fabric of the whole by claiming a separate existence: "me" and the rest of the universe.
The contemplation of nature can free you of that "me," the great troublemaker."
Completely Open Vessel
What people say about their situation and the reality of that situation are two different things
---completely different things.
I still carry illusions of my future that never comes. These illusions are not based in reality, they are imaginations or dreams, mind-made objects.
We can't know one iota about a future because we never experience it. This can be understood with our minds. I no longer reconstruct the past. If I talk about the past, I am experiencing it through my memories that are created in the Now. Yes the past is only a memory.
We know, only, the Now and in that same Now moment we know nothing of it.
EVERYTHING arises out of the field of Now... it has to!
E V E R Y T H I N G
For some, ideas or "things" get stuck in the recycling, repetitive thinking mind; for others, there is a peaceful scenery in which we exist. Only a shift in perception is the difference.
I have never claimed to know more than or anything, at all, in comparison to another person.
We can agree that each human being has a different perception. When we share our perceptions with one another, we sometimes describe through words a feeling about the essential nature, the True Nature of Nature, that is the same in each human being. Herein lies the true equality of human beings, something we never asked for, something we are born with and something that remains when we die. Our personas, I as Doreen, dies. I think it is a known fact that our forms shall die. Can we debate that? Once we know that without the formless dimension we could not exist, then I can, unequivocably, state that there is a formless dimension. All labels, words, definitions are forms. Yes, we shall NEVER KNOW the formless, how could we? it has no form. We use forms to refer to it. But, we can know that it is here. Not something that I can convince anyone of, with words.
---completely different things.
I still carry illusions of my future that never comes. These illusions are not based in reality, they are imaginations or dreams, mind-made objects.
We can't know one iota about a future because we never experience it. This can be understood with our minds. I no longer reconstruct the past. If I talk about the past, I am experiencing it through my memories that are created in the Now. Yes the past is only a memory.
We know, only, the Now and in that same Now moment we know nothing of it.
EVERYTHING arises out of the field of Now... it has to!
E V E R Y T H I N G
For some, ideas or "things" get stuck in the recycling, repetitive thinking mind; for others, there is a peaceful scenery in which we exist. Only a shift in perception is the difference.
I have never claimed to know more than or anything, at all, in comparison to another person.
We can agree that each human being has a different perception. When we share our perceptions with one another, we sometimes describe through words a feeling about the essential nature, the True Nature of Nature, that is the same in each human being. Herein lies the true equality of human beings, something we never asked for, something we are born with and something that remains when we die. Our personas, I as Doreen, dies. I think it is a known fact that our forms shall die. Can we debate that? Once we know that without the formless dimension we could not exist, then I can, unequivocably, state that there is a formless dimension. All labels, words, definitions are forms. Yes, we shall NEVER KNOW the formless, how could we? it has no form. We use forms to refer to it. But, we can know that it is here. Not something that I can convince anyone of, with words.
7/8/09
7/7/09
Trees
What if I am to leave my beloved birches in the backyard?
I have left trees before, some have left me
They still stand, with or without me
Or transform in the fire
I have left trees before, some have left me
They still stand, with or without me
Or transform in the fire
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