5/21/09

The Diamond in My Drawer

Many years ago I found a clear rectangular gem near the place where I worked. (this was my all-time favorite job because of the people I "worked" with and the nature of the 'business')
I put it in my pocket. I assumed it was a piece of glass or (at best) a cubic zirconia (I was a little familiar with these synthetic "diamonds" due to another job I'd held, going back a few years... before "Europe"(September 1980 to November 1981). This "gem" didn't, really, look as "good" as one of those fakes.


Anyway, the collector that I was saved it among some other "precious" stones and jewelry components in a tiny Chinese silk embroidered box for approximately 22 years. (I recall that Time Stands Still was featured at the Nickelodeon Cinema, 1983, I remember.)


Occasionally, over those years, I looked at the contents of that box. Usually, while looking at it, I wondered what it truly was; but I was never motivated to find out. "Just a piece of glass!" And for several years prior to 2005, I never looked at it or thought about it. It sat, quietly, waiting in my drawer.


So, around 2000, I can look "back" and See that my "waking up" process was, in a sense, "beginning"... in 2004 I was on the "horizon" of it. And in the summer of 2005, I read The Diamond in Your Pocket: Discovering Your True Radiance by Gangaji... I could not put it down, I breezed through it! (Eventually, introduced by this book to Eckhart Tolle who wrote the foreword). Friends that I suggested read the book "literally" could not read it! Much like those who can and those who cannot read Eckhart. (It is not a judgment, it is a reflection of one's readiness for this (a-HA!))


The year 2000 was not my 1st introduction to matters of the "spirit" but all previous endeavors related to a "spiritual search" had been encapsulated in a feeling that that
part of my early "life" had been almost like having a different lifetime within this lifetime! I had moved on to raising a family... little did I know how much they were "raising" me too!


So, in 2005, I had a breakthrough into "Space Consciousness" which was tied-In to re-Connecting with a Friend that I had met in Europe in October 1981. The interesting thing is this: I did not know why I was compelled to look for him because at the time of our 1st encounter I had dropped him like a "hot potato"! I knew him for 8 days and then fled "in fear" of him... for my "life" due to a deep distrust of the "Other" and a "woundedness" from most human relationships; I sensed, perhaps a "neediness" in him that reflected my own, thus my survival mechanism kicked into high gear. It is like the way most humans function on a daily basis: they live with a "false" sense of fear in everyday interactions and the result is an abundance of stress.


Anyway, I cannot go into All the details here of this Awakening process but suffice it to say that what I experienced was misinterpreted by my husband and friends. I know that they could not help having their interpretations, "they know not what they do".


After the initial shock for my husband, he was willing, for a brief period, to try to understand what was happening. He went with me to visit my guide to get further clarification on what I was experiencing but his own pain from this and the deeper pain within him was too much to "handle". I remember, on that day, that he was willing to help me find a way to go to Sweden to meet with Arne. Strangely, on our ride in the car back home from this meeting with my guide, I thought about that piece of glass in my drawer and thought: It must be a diamond!!
Really... I had this thought come to me!


So, when I returned home I rummaged through my drawer and found the piece of cut glass! "Maybe it truly is a diamond! "This will give me the money I need to travel to Stockholm!" I took that "stone" to a jeweler to test it, the next day. They made a test on it...they were 98% sure that it was a Diamond!! But they would have to have their expert diamond appraiser examine it for its worth, etc. I left it there... I was flying 20 feet off the ground! How could this be?!! It had never looked very sparkly or colorful until I saw it at the jeweler's..."under the Light".


Synchronistically, the weaving of the content of Gangaji's book with this "magical, mystery tour" in my life hit me over the head, brought me full force, full circle In To my LIFE! I have (had) many of these co-incidences throughout my life that Serve(d) to wake me up.


You can think any thought about my life as You wish but No thought about it can take this knowing away from Life. You can't make me live less Life. You can't remove Love, All there Is. We don't "need" it, We Are It. It's been in Your pocket, all along, You just couldn't See It.

6 comments:

Marite said...

Could you post a picture of the gem you found?

Abrazos,
Marite

Doreen said...

I will "dig it out" soon!

Marite said...

Fascinating story soo far. You've got me glued to the screen...!
Sweden; the Svensk connection.
Maybe you ought to start writing a book.

Doreen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doreen said...

Indeed, it was a diamond! A very big diamond! I assume that whoever lost it, in the first place, had cashed in the insurance? Goes Way beyond One's Wildest Dreams! Not the "value" of it, but the recognition of the Value of It, Life Itself! You can't know It, but You know that You Know It at the same time! You Sense it through Your Essential Beingness!
Magnificent!

Diane Meier said...

Loved the story! And isn't it funny when we DO find out that we are LOVE, all there is, and we've been searching for it out there for so long........we just have to laugh out loud at the absurdity and the thrill of "finding ourselves" at last!