Open Life

When I was a child, teenager, and younger woman I had a sense that I knew something different than other people, but I never had a satisfactory exchange with another regarding this. (Well, perhaps, that is not completely accurate, I did have brief moments of joy, but they were covered over mostly with thoughts.) It was difficult for this something to come into expression, especially working with the unconscious level that most of us were familiar with.

Mostly, my thoughts and others told me: "I had to be better", "I was not smart enough", "I was not clever enough", "I was not good at debating about politics", "I was not well read", "I was too young to have feelings", "This is the way life is, you have to accept it!"

In that "lifetime", I do not think I could hear anything different than what my thoughts fed to me. If someone liked me, well I didn't like them or I could not believe that they did. Or I had to prove to someone that they must like me, because I liked them so much for not really liking me, in some twisted convoluted mind game we all played.

Now, to see the shift in my own perception is something one cannot imagine. It resided in my heart for "years" and is, at last, free to come into the Fullness of Life.